A formative experience is an experience with a lasting impact on a person’s mind and life choices. It could be something that helped shape one’s very personality. Today at Anime Rants, we’ll discuss a fascinating formative experience of a character named Sumireko Ogawa from the anime Mysterious Disappearances. She is a 30-year-old bookstore employee who wrote a well-received YA novel at age fifteen. It’s been over a decade since Sumireko tried to write another book, and she doubts she can ever find the inspiration again.

Formative experiences could technically happen at any age, but most of the time, when people talk about this topic, they mean something that happened in childhood. Sumireko’s experience also transpired when she was a small child. We don’t know her exact age, but my guess would be five to seven years old. Let’s review the events, which take place in Mysterious Disappearances episode 8: “A Book, an Affair, and a Mermaid.”

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Part 1: Sumireko’s Communication Struggles

Before we describe the formative experience, we need some background. In elementary school, Sumireko had trouble making and maintaining friends. The difficulty came from her speech issue. Sumireko could theoretically speak normally, but in social interactions, she had severe problems with being verbal at all. Sumireko clarifies with this quote.

“It’s not that I had nothing I wanted to say. Rather, it was the opposite. But extreme heat would melt my words into goo. They would mix together in my head so that I couldn’t get them out, and I would have no idea what to do.”

Sumireko, Mysterious Disappearances Episode 8

I love the way Mysterious Disappearances visually portrays this communication issue. Sumireko is shown with her body transparent. Inside it there is hot magma and fire – it’s a harsh environment to survive in. I understand what Sumireko is describing in this monologue passage, as well as appreciating the artistic visual metaphor. In case it’s not clear to everyone, though, let me try to explain what she means.

I have ADHD, and although haven’t been diagnosed, I likely experience a mild flavor of Autism Spectrum Disorder. In addition, I’ve always been an anxious person. ADHD, autism, and anxiety can all make communication difficult. The ADHD makes my thoughts run so fast that I can’t pin them down. There is so much I want to say that I don’t know where to begin. Choosing words is not easy when your brain is also producing random and sometimes intrusive thoughts. Plus, I fear being mocked or misunderstood.

The result is a crammed, loud mind but a quiet exterior. My frustration with myself and the unending chaos in my brain produce a fire that melts away words. Reasonable communication becomes impossible. That’s why I think the “extreme heat” that Sumireko describes is a highly emotional and disordered mind. It’s likely that Sumireko had a developmental issue, even if it wasn’t the same mixture of diagnoses that describe me.

Going back to the story, Sumireko always had trouble speaking. This led to many fights with her peers in elementary school (and probably before that). However, the formative experience she was about to have would change the way she communicated for the rest of her life. One day, after an especially bad fight with her friends, Sumireko ran away. While hiding, she found a tiny entrance (a hole in a fence) to an alleyway passage. Without knowing where it would lead her, Sumireko took that path.

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Part 2: Sumireko Finds a Certain Bookstore

Before long, Sumireko found herself gazing at an old-looking bookstore in a small, grassy plot of land. The child had never seen or heard of a bookstore in her neighborhood, so she was terribly curious. Once she entered the dimly lit bookstore, Sumireko was greeted by a middle-aged woman at the counter. This lady and the books she lent out were destined to have a huge, lifelong impact on Sumireko.

The book lady is a spirit from the past – Gyokushindo – who collected books and made her gravesite into a library. She now runs this spiritual library that can only be accessed by curious people who also love books and will contribute to the library’s database. But for the purposes of our discussion, the identity of the book-keeper is not important. We will call her Honhime (meaning “Book Princess”) which is how she is listed in the episode casting. Since she is not an evil ghost, you can just think of her as an eccentric human.

On the day she entered the bookstore, Sumireko saw Honhime crying as she finished reading a book. Honhime explained that the story was amazing, and that crying over a good book is a normal thing to do. Before now, Sumireko had always considered books boring. Playing outside and running around was more fun than staring at paper could ever be, she thought. But now she had time to kill and she was curious about this book. So, Honhime allowed Sumireko to read it in the study area at the back of the store.

Much to Sumireko’s surprise, she quickly found herself intrigued by the book. She immediately formed mental images of the settings, characters, and events. They sprung to life from the page as the little girl read the words. I imagine there’s no single universal description of what it feels like to be immersed in a good novel. Still, many of us will say that it feels similar to how it’s depicted by this anime.

I once saw a meme of some kind that described the act of reading in an interesting way. I couldn’t track it down for an exact quote, but it was something like “staring at tree products while hallucinating vividly.” This is humorous but also basically accurate to my experience. Words build worlds in my head that can feel extremely “real.” I still remember the joy of this discovery as a child. That’s why it made me smile to see Sumireko experience it, too.

Staying out late wouldn’t be good for a small child, so Honhime sent Sumireko home. However, she allowed the girl to borrow the book provided she brought it back the next day. Sumireko held up her end of the deal and returned to the bookstore the following afternoon. She started to read another book, occasionally asking Honhime questions about words or concepts. Honhime also brought snacks from time to time. Sumireko enjoyed a few days of this magical experience at the bookstore.

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Part 3: Sumireko Becomes a Writer

One day, Honhime brought up a sensitive topic. She noticed Sumireko had been crying when she first wondered into the bookstore. Thus, she wondered what problems the kid might be dealing with. It’s at this point in the anime that we see Sumireko through Honhime’s eyes. It’s another case of an interesting visual metaphor. The child’s body is transparent and made of blue mist. In that azure fog, words are floating around. The best way to explain it is to say that words are trapped inside Sumireko.

When Honhime asked what the little girl was crying about that day, Sumireko tried to explain her issues with communication. It took her a long time of stammering and striving, but she finally got the words out enough so Honhime could understand. The adult woman listened with patience. Once she comprehended the issue, she gave a wonderful piece of advice to Sumireko. In order to speak to others, you simply need to write words in your head, and then read them out. Honhime described it in this quote.

“Try writing a passage. You don’t have to physically write it. First, ready some manuscript paper in your head. Write down all the words you know and give them form. You’re going to take apart the dictionary within your mind. You already have all the words you need. Next, rearrange the words on the paper, turning them into writing. Then try reading the manuscript you’ve created.”

Honhime, Mysterious Disappearances episode 8

Sumireko only needed a little bit of encouragement from Honhime. She tried the method at school the next day, experiencing success at a surprising speed. Conquering her communication problem, Sumireko could soon speak as well as anyone. However, throughout her life, some people would notice that she had a slightly strange way of speaking. Sumireko knew it was because of the way she formed her words, writing out passages in her head. She grew to like the way she spoke, and it became natural.

After that day, Sumireko could no longer find the mystical bookstore. The spiritual library was closed to her – at least, for now. According to legend, Honhime always asked each guest to contribute a book. Then why didn’t she ask Sumireko? In fact, she did. Honhime predicted that Sumireko would become a writer. It was during that last day together. She told Sumireko to bring her own novel once she became an author. Though the formative experience was over, Sumireko believed she might see Honhime again one day.

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Part 4: Closing Thoughts

The topic of formative experiences is fascinating to me. I enjoy studying formative experiences as a part of understanding general child development, as well as a way to reflect on myself and my own childhood. Formative memories are not always positive. Some are painful or traumatizing. Still, I’m glad I found an example of an anime character with an intriguing and positive formative experience.

As you have probably guessed, Sumireko’s experience at the bookstore was very significant for me personally. I love this episode of Mysterious Disappearances because I relate to it so intimately. I may not have any published works to show, but I am a writer at my core. I may not read books much as an adult, but they were some of the most important things in my life when I was a child. I still love atmospheric bookstores, too. Perhaps most importantly, I relate to this anime episode because I have a communication style similar to Sumireko.

I would be lying if I said my experience was identical to that of Sumireko. However, it’s similar enough to be eerie. My life and my way of communicating changed abruptly and drastically as soon as I learned to read. I was a quick learner, reading everything I could get my hands on. Writing came very soon after. It’s because, to me, at the end of day, nothing makes sense to me without writing words. I completely understand the idea of writing sentences in one’s head to make speaking easier. Like Sumireko, I probably have a slightly unusual and stiff way of speaking, but I actually quite like it.

I’m now satisfied with my analysis of these scenes. I hope you enjoyed the commentary. As always, I am extremely grateful for readers. Comments are welcome, too. I will leave you with a final quote from Honhime, which you can interpret however you like. Thanks and goodbye.

“Your everyday life is in itself a full-length novel.”

Honhime, Mysterious Disappearances episode 8

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