Welcome to a slightly sobering post from Anime Rants. It’s just become very clear what Blue Exorcist is about at this point in the story. After a five-episode arc focused on Shura, the narrative went straight to the heart of the season: Yukio. At least for now, Yukio is the driving force of the story; and it’s his character who has something important to say. In Beyond the Snow Saga episode 10, Yukio makes a fully committed suicide attempt. He only survived because of demon-magic shenanigans.
I have some things to say about the topic of suicide, particularly in younger people who feel alienated. You might have noticed that I named this post after the hit 2000s alt rock song, “How to Save a Life” by The Fray. I’ll explain this reference and my thoughts later on. Before that, let’s review what transpired in this eventful episode.
Article Contents
Episode Recap and Notes
Episode Rating: 8/10
While Shura and Lightning fight the demon Cyclops in the streets of Ikebukuro, Yukio and the Exwires hurry to the scene to help. Shura looks badass as she fights and jumps around, katana infused with Lightning’s frost magic. Before long, Yukio arrives and starts shooting at the low-level demons on the streets. Lightning comes to talk to Yukio and then to Shima, before being abruptly arrested by Oscelola of the Angelic Legion. It seems like Lightning’s less than legal methods have caught up to him.
(Side Note: Oscelola’s character design is … interesting, to say the least. While I’ve seen much worse, this still feels like too much of a stereotypical caricature of a Native American man. I might be overreacting. Still, the fact that the others in the Order call him “Red Arms” is problematic.)
Before submitting to the arrest, Lightning passed a flash-drive to Yukio and whispered a password in his ear. It doesn’t take Yukio long to open up the files, eager for information about his parents. The flash-drive revealed the secrets that Ryuuji uncovered about Section 13. It included the fact that Shiro was a clone of Azazel. But since there was nothing about Yuri Egin or Satan, Yukio actually learned very little. This was extremely frustrating for him since he so desperately wanted answers.
In addition to that frustration, Yukio is now furious at the True Cross Order for their corrupt methods. They sacrificed lives and conducted human experimentation in the name of protecting the realm from demons. Moreover, Yukio is tired and angry from being under pressure as a high-ranking exorcist without a father. In the depths of depression, Yukio goes to visit Shiemi at her family’s herb shop.
Two years ago, he did the same thing and visited Shiemi for comfort when he was severely depressed and confused. At that time, everything went well, and Yukio left feeling better. However, back in the present, things don’t go quite the same way. Shiemi tries to help Yukio by being there for him and hugging him back when he suddenly embraces her. But after Shiemi casually mentions Rin, Yukio suddenly snaps. He shouts at Shiemi and knocks her over.
Suddenly, Yukio realizes what he’s doing and immediately leaves. Shiemi is unhurt, but very upset and worried about Yukio, since he’s acting so erratic. And she had good reason to worry. After wandering around the snowy city for some time, Yukio tripped and fell in the snow. His gun fell out of its holster. Yukio stares at the weapon for a few seconds before picking it up. Then, after 2 years of nonstop danger and pressure, and after losing his faith in the organization he’s been fighting for, Yukio attempts suicide.
He tries to shoot himself in the head, but his inherited power of Satan’s blue flames kicked in to protect him, completely annihilating the bullet. With his eyes emanating blue flames, Yukio suddenly hears Satan’s insane, laughing voice in his head. Satan tells Yukio that he’s not allowed to die yet. As Yukio is trying to compose himself from the horror of this mental encounter, Shima appears. I’m not sure what he plans to do with Yukio. Meanwhile, Suguro and Shiemi both approach Rin at the same time to tell him that Yukio is in a dire situation. To be continued.
Suicide Discussion
This season is about presenting a character who attempted suicide due to severe depression and stress. Yukio has become an extremely sympathetic and relatable character for viewers who have suffered similar depressive episodes. I appreciate the representation as someone who struggled with suicidal feelings for many years. That brings us to my history and reason for writing this discussion: Tuesday, Dec 10th is the ten-year anniversary of my most serious suicide attempt.
Early December is a hard time of year for me because of memories, associations, and feelings related to my suicide attempt. I survived thanks to a friend who realized something was wrong. I actually went away without any permanent damage to my body, unless you count the scar. I’m glad I failed that attempt, and I can’t imagine ever trying again. Nevertheless, suicide remains an important topic to discuss.
Suicide rates have been going up since 2021, at least in the US. With a fascist bigot elected by the citizens of the US, it’s likely that even more people will lose hope – especially the queer and trans individuals whose rights are being stripped away. For that reason, I wanted to use this post as a way to reach out to those who might be suffering. I want to make it very clear that I don’t think suicide is the answer.
Suicide is giving up in a way that you can’t ever take back. It’s fine to “give up” temporarily and take time to rest off the emotional battlefield. That’s not cowardly or irresponsible. Dying is another story. Even if you believe in an afterlife, there is no convincing proof of it. And regardless of whether you go to heaven, cease to exist, or get reincarnated, you are still leaving your loved ones behind to grieve. I’ve lost people I know to suicide. It’s not an easy thing to accept. You could cause pain and trauma to your loved ones that will never heal.
The 2005 song “How to Save a Life” by The Fray was nominated for a Grammy Award due to its amazing sound, meaningful lyrics, and overall emotional vibe. The song is about someone who’s trying to save their friend, only to lose them overnight due to suicide. Though the song contains some decent advice about dealing with a suicidal friend – including staying up with them all night if needed – that’s not the point of the song, in my opinion. The real point is that the person left behind blames themselves and may never fully stop grieving.
“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness.
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life.”
~The Fray
To be clear, it’s important to do everything you can that could help keep a loved one alive. Be there for your friends and family, and keep a lookout for the signs of suicidal thinking. It is sometimes necessary to make sacrifices to help those in need. That being said, it’s impossible to save everyone. Some people don’t want help, and forcing it doesn’t always work. If you’ve lost someone to suicide – or if you just feel guilty about not stopping someone’s attempt – please remember that it’s not your fault. You may feel in some way responsible, but you’re not.
Now let’s look at Yukio’s case again. Did his friends and family do enough to support him? In a sense, there’s always more that could have been done. But I’m relatively impressed with the efforts of both Rin and Shiemi to be there for Yukio emotionally. The problem isn’t that they were ignoring Yukio’s pain. It was that Yukio didn’t want help. That’s an incredibly dangerous place to be in: a recipe for a successful suicide. Let’s just be grateful than this character survived.
I know that was a bit heavier than my usual blog posts, but it’s something extremely important to me, especially during this particular time in early December. Please remember to support your friends, especially the ones in marginalized groups. And on a final note, please remember to take time for yourself and seek help if you are struggling with depression or suicidal thoughts. Take care of yourself. You only get one life.
~Thanks for reading~
Written by 7Mononoke
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